Dark Night of the Soul
What Is It?
The phrase “Dark Night of the Soul” originally comes from the writings of a 16th-century Spanish mystic, St. John of the Cross. He used it to describe a spiritual crisis: a time when the familiar ways of finding meaning fall away, leaving you in darkness before a new light emerges.
Centuries later, the term is still used to describe a very human experience—those periods when life feels painfully out of sync, when the ground beneath you feels shaky, and when nothing that used to bring comfort seems to work anymore.
Simon Haas, in his book Yoga and the Dark Night of the Soul, calls it a “sacred crisis.” I love that phrase because it captures both sides of the experience: the heaviness of loss, confusion, and struggle and the hidden opportunity to step into something more real, more authentic, more aligned with who you truly are.
How It Feels
A Dark Night doesn’t usually announce itself. Most people don’t even realize they’re in one until they’re on the other side. In the middle, it can feel like:
“Why do I feel so disconnected when nothing is ‘wrong’?”
“Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes?”
“Why can’t I just be grateful for what I have?”
“Is something wrong with me?”
“Why does life feel empty even though I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do?”
If you’ve ever asked yourself these kinds of questions, you’re not alone. Many of us go through this—sometimes more than once.
During a Dark Night, your ego wants to cling to what’s familiar, while your soul is quietly urging you toward growth. That tug-of-war can show up as restlessness, self-doubt, dissatisfaction, or a longing for something you can’t quite name. Outwardly, life may look fine, but inwardly, it feels like pieces of you are crumbling.
How Long It Lasts
A Dark Night can last months or even years, often unfolding in waves—moments of clarity followed by periods of struggle. But it’s not always dark or chaotic. Even in the middle of the journey, there can be pockets of joy, celebration, achievement, or moments that feel surprisingly light. These flashes are signs that transformation is occurring, even if the bigger picture still feels confusing.
The timing depends less on “how strong you are” and more on your willingness to soften, listen, and let yourself change. Some people experience more than one Dark Night in their lifetime, each revealing deeper layers of growth. It’s not a race. Your path unfolds right on time.
My Story
For a long time, things didn’t feel right—inside or out. My life looked and felt out of sync. Externally, I was doing what I thought I was “supposed” to do, but internally, I was restless, stuck, and unsure of my next step. I clung to comfort, ignoring the quiet nudges pulling me forward. The more I resisted, the heavier it became. The longer it dragged on, the more painful it felt. My Dark Night lasted years, probably because of my resistance to change and my fear of the unknown.
Clarity only began to appear when I finally started to take action. With that action came inspiration, insights, synchronicities, and little moments of confirmation. Gradually, the chaos that once felt overwhelming began to ease.
One of the ways I started to reconnect with myself was by simply following joy. For me, that looked like rock climbing. It had nothing to do with my bigger vision, but it pulled me out of my head, brought me into the present, and gave me moments of laughter, play, and healthy challenge. It reminded me that joy doesn’t have to be grand—it can be something simple that lights you up in the moment.
Over time, I began to trust those subtle nudges more fully. By paying attention to them and making decisions that aligned with my truth, I transformed both my inner experience and my outer world.
It wasn’t until years later that I discovered the phrase Dark Night of the Soul. Seeing my experience reflected in that term was deeply validating—it helped me make sense of what I had been going through all those years.
Navigating the Journey
The Dark Night can feel lonely, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Try asking yourself empowering questions as you move through it:
What brings me even a spark of joy right now? What brings a smile to your face? It doesn’t have to be tied to a bigger vision—anything that lights you up counts.
How can I move my body in a way that helps me feel present or energized? Nothing grand, it can be as simple as going for a walk around the block or a few stretches can shift energy.
What space can I create to hear my inner guidance today? Journaling, quiet reflection, or meditation are a few examples. It can be as simple as sitting in a park or even sitting in your backyard or patio.
Does this situation, choice, or thought lift me up—or drain me? Does it bring you closer to your Self, or farther away?
Who can I reach out to for support, perspective, or grounding right now?
Finding Hope and Support
A Dark Night of the Soul can feel like walking in fog. You might feel restless, ashamed, or afraid others will see that your life isn’t “perfect.” But there’s nothing wrong with you—this is part of being human.
Support doesn’t erase the journey—it helps you walk through it with steadiness, courage, and compassion. Hypnotherapy is one path that can offer that support, providing a safe space to notice what feels misaligned, explore old patterns without judgment, and reconnect with your inner guidance.
Hypnotherapy can help you:
Distinguish the voice of ego vs. the voice of your soul
Learn how to tune into the version of you calling you forward
Break down the chaos and how it might be serving you
Quiet the inner critic
Learn relaxation techniques and self-hypnosis you can use today
Closing
If you are moving through a Dark Night, know this: you are not alone. Many of us have walked this road. And though it feels like everything is falling apart, something deeper is actually being rebuilt. There is Light at the end.
Trust your timing. Trust your path. This is not the end of your story—it’s the beginning of a truer one.
Have you had your own Dark Night of the Soul? Or do you feel like you’re in the middle of one right now? Wherever you are, know this: you are not lost. You are becoming.